Strange Thing, Mystifying

 The holy musical that blessed my ears for the first time (puns intended). Credit: The author

The holy musical that blessed my ears for the first time (puns intended). Credit: The author

I still remember my first musical.

I was around five years old, and playing on the living room floor. The first few notes from Jesus Christ Superstar’s “What’s The Buzz” started playing from the television speakers.

I looked away from my toys for a moment. I turned my head and watched as, on the screen, these strange people danced, and sang words I didn’t really understand. I watched until the song was over and then went back to my toys. I didn’t understand what was happening so there was no point in watching.

But somehow, it stuck with me.

Years later, I sang that song, despite only knowing a few lines. I sang along when I re-watched the movie-musical at fourteen. At that time I was hunting down all the musicals I could get my hands on, and couldn’t leave out my first.

I couldn’t get the soundtrack out of my head for days after that. I blame the catchy music, and the local library that lent me the CD.

After listening to it for months, I knew that if I ever got the chance, I’d love to play Mary Magdalene. Her character was gentle, and wise beyond her years. And yet she was still so confused and vulnerable. I liked her. I knew all of her lines, and I knew I could pull off her small, sweet voice.

Sort of.

Well, with practice I could. And with the possibility of my school doing a musical the next year, I could at least audition!

Who was I kidding? I was too scared to do it then, and now. I'm too afraid of messing up, or of being in front of a large crowd.

It’s unfortunate, because there are so many characters I want to play and so many songs that I want to sing. At the very least, I want to help those who are bringing these amazing stories to life and do the behind-the-scenes experience.

I never tried. I felt comfortable, sitting in the audience while so many others did what I can’t. I’ve always been fine with that.

Until now.

I have a plan. I’m older, with a confidence that I've never had before and a lot of support. I’m going to do it. With baby steps, I’m going to volunteer at a theatre and be a part of the magic that is the stage.

And maybe, with some time and practice, I'll finally have a chance to be in the spotlight.


ASHLEY O'NEIL

Student. Writer. Likes to rave, rant and cry about television shows. Sings popular show-tunes loudly and happily. Has a huge family and a huge book collection. Is trying to find her way in the writing world, and in the world in general.

Can be found on LinkedIn and Facebook. Follows this blog.