Pickup Truck Skyrockets Trudeau’s Approval Rating

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau hit his all time highest approval rating of 92% after purchasing a Ford pickup truck to seem more relatable to conservative voters. After reaching his lowest approval rating of 48% in late January 2017 Trudeau decided to try a new approach. “The policies just weren’t cutting it anymore.” Trudeau said to a Funyun correspondent in an exclusive interview last week, “I knew I needed to connect with conservative voters, and I couldn’t figure out what change was needed.” Trudeau’s left-leaning administration has had a hard time reaching supporters of their right wing counterpart since Trudeau took office in late 2015.

“It hit me when I was in a Timmies drive-thru a few weeks ago,” Trudeau continued, “My car was the only vehicle without a lift kit!” Right wing media was quick to call attention to the administration's spur-of-the-moment $3,000,000 CAD ($28.50 USD) “Ministerial Motor Management” task force, but quickly changed their tone once it was revealed that the Prime Minister’s new vehicle would be a Ford F-150 Raptor. Within 24 hours Trudeau’s approval rating had broken 60% and only continued climbing.

Conservative voters seem to be especially thrilled with the particular setup the task force recommended. The appointed leader of the task force, Johnny Chinook, commented on the particular style. “Oh fuck ya bud, she’s a beaut! Jacked up 8 inches and wastes more fuel than she uses! It’s a shame we couldn’t put a mini in the back to keep a few Labatts cold!”

Not all feedback has been positive, however. James Ariss, a prominent conservative voice has discussed concerns about the amount of time it took for this change to come. “It’s just too little too late eh? I mean I’ve been ripping mud in a 4x4 since I could hold a double-double. It took him over a year in office to stop driving Barbie’s fuckin’ dream car don’tcha know?” Much of the remaining 8% seems to be avid Chevy lovers. Social media outcry on the official Canadian Chevy facebook page “Chevy Truck Canucks” has been extremely negative, one user going as far as to say Trudeau has “worse judgement than a road-killed beaver.” Even with this opposition, approval ratings of this magnitude are unprecedented. It’s safe to say that if this keeps up Canadians should expect to hear the purr of Trudeau’s pickup in Ottawa for years to come.