On Laziness

“Get up! You need to brush your teeth, mow the lawn, take your driver’s test, and pay the bills! Why aren’t you up yet?!?”

"CAUSE I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT! GAWD!!!"

You hear that? That’s me, you, and eventually everyone submitting to the sin of sloth, if you're of the religious mind. People say “why put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today?” Let me rephrase that in an unoriginal way: “Why do today what you can put off ‘til tomorrow?” And yes, I just quoted SpongeBob. Good show…once upon a time.

There always seem to be days where I don’t do something just because I don’t feel like doing it. Take mowing the lawn, for example. At my age, I shouldn’t get paid to mow the lawn, but I do. Handsomely, might I add. That should be enough for me to get up off my ass and do it, right? Yeah, you’d think that, wouldn’t you? I obviously can’t do it in the rain or when the wind decides to have itself a ball and tear down some telephone poles, but there’s always average days where I look out at the lawn and go “nah, not today.” I say that the next day, too. And the next day. And every day after that until it starts looking like a freakin’ jungle out there.

 Apparently there was a reason I heard "All Out of Love" every time I decided not to mow the lawn.

Apparently there was a reason I heard "All Out of Love" every time I decided not to mow the lawn.

 

Getting lots of sleep and relaxation is always a treat. Be lazy on your own time, though, not when you’re at your job or whatever important thing. Story time: There’s this one guy in particular who really bugs me, partly because I’m very easily annoyed but also because I feel like if I was anymore lazy, I would be him. He’s always got his eyes half-shut and walking all loosely like he doesn’t have a care in the world (and not in the good way). Got a job for him that he doesn’t feel like doing? Do it for the vine? He ain’t gon’ do it! Seriously, bro! Are you that worried I’m gonna do something funny if you bend over to fix that stack of cans?!? Get your ass in gear!

We’ve all got days where we don’t feel like doing anything, but for the love of God, if someone asks you to do something important, don’t whine about it. Make like Nike and just do it.

...seriously, what's with the chimps, Bruno?


Justin Bedard

Justin Bedard is your average Canadian male (maybe not, depending on what you consider average to be). He is a student in Algonquin College’s Professional Writing program. He rarely speaks unless spoken to and has a tendency to overthink things.

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