In light of the latest installment of The Walking Dead I’ve found myself thinking about some of the choices that need to be made during the zombie apocalypse. Not just the questions about going on food and supply runs or what do when someone gets bitten. Carol’s departure has sparked many thoughts on who I’d surround myself with in this situation and it has also made me doubt my previous assertions about the very same thing.
I personally love(d) Carol. I think she’s a badass and a survivor. But I don’t know if I’d like to have her around if some freak strain of the flu hit my group.
Here are some helpful tips in choosing the lucky few that will accompany you on your quest for survival:
- Find a survivalist. Preferably someone with knowledge of nature and weaponry (Someone who drives a badass motorcycle and carries a crossbow is an added bonus).
- Gordon Ramsay. I’m being serious. Not only is he one of the best chefs in the world, he is also one of the angriest people in the world. Imagine all that rage focussed behind a baseball bat. Serious advantage.
- Find someone funny. The zombie apocalypse will be a downer and everyone could use a laugh.
- Find a stoner. Not anyone who takes uppers, but someone who smokes a lot of weed. This may seem like a bad idea, but they’ll offer you a calm and collected perspective when things get tense and when things get crazy they’ll go into Call Of Duty mode and start picking zombies off one by one.
- Go to the ends of the earth to find Sidney Prescott. She never dies and she’s got a hell of a punch.
- Find an old, wise man. Make sure they’re not too old, though. You want someone who is still physically able to fight. Their years of facing the world will come in handy and once they’re incorporated into your group they will go to the ends of the earth to protect you.
All right, survivors. It’s time for you to go out and find the people who will save your ass. Just remember these handy tips and use your brain. If, at first glance, you feel like it’s a bad idea then it probably is. Walk away before they latch on.