Making Mistakes

“Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out. “– Benjamin Franklin 

Life is simply a learning process. You really learn who you are and what the right thing to do is through experience, and through making mistakes.  You have to realize that we’re all human, that it’s inevitable that we will fall and we will fail at certain times in our lives, but that it’s okay. As long as you get back up again, keep trying, and have good intentions, you truly can’t go wrong.  Every action does have a consequence, which is the hard part; however the important message to be imparted is that you have to give yourself a break. You have to realize that no matter how foolish you act, how wrong you are, or how many wrong turns you take; you just have to keep on moving.

I have found through recent experience that until you make a mistake, you never can truly learn from it, and move on. I made a big error in judgement, acted recklessly and thoughtlessly, and as a result I hurt someone I cared about. That was the hardest part, because while at the time I had no intention to sabotage a relationship or act out irresponsibly, I did, and now I have to live with the fall out. I have been incredibly hard on myself, going over and over in my head the pain I inflicted, but at the end of the day, the past is the past and I only can get up, dust myself off, and learn from it.

When anyone is going through a troubling situation or has made a mistake that has hurt themselves or others, it is imperative to take a step back, and try and look and the situation objectively. The only thing you can do is acknowledge the part you played in the situation, apologize for any wrongdoing, and try and brainstorm strategies on moving forward.  Maybe there is no easy solution, and maybe some things will remain broken, but you have to realize that you’re only human, and that next time you will try harder.

Life can be messy, unfair, and painful, and making mistakes is often unavoidable. As long as you learn to forgive yourself and accept what you cannot change, then at the end of the day, you’re going to be alright.  Mistakes can help you learn, grow, and evolve as an individual. It can be horrible when people around you end up being hurt as well, but you just have to try to stay positive and make amends for the damage you have done. I know after the mistake I have made recently, that it helped strengthen my resolve, reassess how I was treating the people in my life, and release any residual anger and pain I have been holding on to. And for that, I know I will never make the same mistake again!  

Respect Who You Are

“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are, completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.” – Stacey Charter

In a society where conforming to the norms and culture is second nature, and the ultimate goal is to please everyone else, it can be hard to retain your individuality.  Our inner voices tend to change from “what do I want” to “what do THEY want?” It is crucial for your own health to reject this instinct to meet other people’s needs and simply focus on fulfilling your own.

Everyone has their own priorities, morals and values that dictate how they act and how they live their life. We all know the extents of our own comfort zones and what we feel will make us happy and what we are content with doing.  It’s vital to remember that no matter what people are doing around you, if you don’t want to do it- then don’t. It sounds like a simple concept, but if you really pay attention to what choices you make in your life, you may find that you sometimes do things that you don’t necessarily want to do because you have put other people’s desires before your own.  Life is short, and if you spend it living on someone else’s terms or doing things that go against what you believe in, then you’ll inevitably face regret.

Lately I’ve found that I have been questioning myself, what I think and what I stand for in the face of certain choices.  I have always had a strong sense of who I am and what will make me happy, but in some cases these convictions conflict with what other people want to do or believe in. If I let it get to me, I end up feeling guilty about it.  But the fact of the matter is, no matter how much I want to please others or make other people happy, if they want me to do something that makes me unhappy, then why do it? I want to make the people in my life happy, but by no means do I think valuing their happiness or prioritizing them over myself is at all beneficial. I am in a constant struggle with finding a balance between making myself happy and making others happy.

Ultimately, you are the most important person in your life. You come first and you should always recognize that what you want does matter and who you are and what you stand for is valid. No one can tell you that what you’re doing is wrong for you. There is no right or wrong when it comes to your opinion or what you feel comfortable doing, so don’t second guess your decisions. By respecting yourself and what you want, you gain respect from others and make people want to be around you.   

Feature: Interview with Darlene Evans

Interview with Darlene Evans – A single mother who works in Communications for the government. She also happens to be my aunt, as well as an amazingly positive person! Darlene leans down, tousles her son's hair, all smiles as she makes sure he is comfortable and happy before she moves across the room to sit opposite me. When she comes closer, Darlene captivates me with her vivid blue eyes, her easygoing smile, and her friendly yet professional demeanor. She crosses her legs, playing with a loose strand of hair that has escaped from her ponytail. She seems to have this glow about her, not only of happiness but of comfort, which puts me at ease. I immediately understand why she is the first person to come to mind when choosing a subject for this interview: Her smile. It says everything about who she is, how she feels about herself, and how she treats others. And that undeniable warmth and easy, positive energy draws you in. The light from the window to her right falls across her face, casting shadows and highlighting contours as her lips move into her irresistible, trademark smile.

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Fiction: The Dream Vacation

The bright, multicoloured parasail ballooned up over our heads, billowing in the steady breeze. We were tethered to the side-by-side aluminum bar, harnessed in, our feet dangling. My toes dragged in the blue-green waves, the boat yet to take off and send us high in the sky. I had been so excited to go parasailing with my best friend in Mexico, days before. It had been the most anticipated event of the whole vacation, the one activity both liberating and exhilarating. Now I couldn’t even look at her, even though we were inches apart.

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Stress – The Feeling That Won’t Go Away

“Don't let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.” - Astrid Alauda We’ve all felt it, time and again when we have so much going on in our lives that we feel we can’t breathe. We need more time, we need more money, we need to focus on our relationships or we need to focus on ourselves. It’s the constant weight upon our shoulders and the ever-present burden in our minds: Stress. Whatever is going on in my life, whether it is personal or professional, left up to chance or circumstance – stress is always there. Trying to sleep, trying to eat, trying to concentrate at school or merely trying to focus on the task at hand, stress is beating down upon me. It is a constant reminder of everything I have to do, to be, to achieve. And no matter how fast I run, stress always seems to catch up.

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