Meet Gooser. He's an 18 year old registered AQHA gelding who may or may not be sporting "sabino" genetics, and he's an official equine comedian.
He is 16 hands high/64 inches tall and weighs 1234 pounds. No, that is not a joke. I actually weighed him. Somebody had to prove to him why his nickname is "Big Chunky."
Gooser is also known as "The King of the Barn." True to his title, he treats his subjects fairly, doesn't hold punches from his enemies, and is one arrogant, obnoxious, Holier-Than-Thou horse. He conveniently forgets things, such as steering. He conveniently escapes from places such as his stall and the barn in spite of "horse-proof locks" and various contraptions that only something with thumbs could have dismantled.
I have been privileged to have known Gooser since he was just a year old and I was fearless yet socially anxious child of seven. I have been his on-paper owner since he was five and I was 12.
For years, I've been trying to train him to do tricks. Bowing, laying down, pawing on command, rearing, and stomping my ex-boyfriends were some of them... they all failed. Gooser adamantly refused to do any of those things. Although he seemed to finally reveal that he knew exactly what I was asking him to do last time I was home, when he laid down while we were out riding... in a creek. I suspect he never acted on the ex-boyfriend stomping thing because the GPS was too small for him to program.
Finding time to teach him tricks is a challenge.
Gooser spends most of his time eating...
... playing with Turbo...
... and going on Epic Journeys.
His one weakness of character is his insatiable hunger. This horse will eat almost anything: Apples, carrots, watermelon, BLTs, hot dogs, Cadbury Mini-Eggs. You don't dare walk into the barn with a box of crackers or anything that makes a crinkly sound.
He'll do just about anything for food (except attack, thank the gods!). Apparently, he's discovered that his irresistible charm and suave grin will cause any human (specifically, any human woman) to swoon at his cuteness and give him any amount of food that they want.
The last time, he manipulated me into giving him 99% of my Cadbury Mini-Eggs. I ate three mini-eggs out of the whole bag.
Well, I'd show him!
So I grabbed a bag of carrots and armed with my video camera, I set out to capture the only trick he'd ever learned (accidentally): Smile for the Carrot.
Sometimes I wonder who's got who trained. What do you think?