Educating the Homophobes

By Stephanie Furlan

Our writers leave the everyday ordinary and seek out the strange, and the provocative

“Darius is set up in his room for drag, right?”

“Yeah. He’s like: ‘it’ll take me an hour to put my face on.’ And I was like: ‘Okay, enjoy. See yah in an hour.’”

This is probably not something you would expect to overhear on any old, dreary Saturday morning.

On March 5, 2011, before the Dare To Stand Out (DTSO) conference begins, students and volunteers fight through the drizzle and trudge through the wet snow. Colourful handmade signs welcome and direct everyone inside the neo-gothic building of the Lisgar Collegiate Institute in downtown Ottawa, where they sign in. After walking down the steps leading to the lunch-turned-conference room, Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” breaks through the speakers. Volunteers fuel up on coffee and students chat away. Smiles are shared. Hugs are exchanged. Despite being strangers, everyone is welcoming and approachable.

The conference attendees are given ally pins to show their support for LGBT (lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and the transgendered) and their rights. Volunteers wear brown t-shirts with an image of a pink elephant surrounded by lockers, sending the message that DTSO dares to talk about the elephant in the room – bullying due to homophobia and the effect it has on the LGBT community, especially LGBT teens. It’s all about starting the dialogue. The DTSO staff also created gender-neutral bathrooms. Posters of undefined people cover the male and female signs that usually designate each bathroom. To some, this may be uncomfortable and strange, but it encourages people to break from social and cultural norms that we have been programmed to accept since we were children. It takes an effort to question why things are the way they are and break away from what we have been conditioned to believe in.

Attendees of DTSO 2011

During the opening ceremony, Jeremy Dias, creator and executive director of Jer’s Vision (based here in Ottawa), and Adam Chenard, the organizer of the event, welcome everyone to DTSO’s fourth annual conference. They promise a day of informative fun and remind their gay and straight audience that today the school is a safe haven, encouraging people to open up and inviting them to be themselves. Counseling services are also provided on the premises for the attendees if they feel inclined to talk to someone. The day’s agenda consists of theatre workshops, lunch with a drag queen, slam poets, and ultimately, workshops to educate students on LGBT culture. Adam Chenard tells me that this year DTSO is trying something new, having workshops that teach students about the stigma surrounding HIV.

At 11 o’clock, speakers take the stage again after the students’ theatre ice-breaker comes to a close. The crowd quiets as Jeremy Dias, 26, takes his turn to tell his own story. He recounts his life during high school and how one of his friends announced over the P.A system that he was gay after having come out to him in confidence. In the days that followed, students turned their backs on him, and would not speak to him. Eventually, Jeremy was abused, both verbally and physically.

Jeremy faced gay bashings. Bullies have beaten him up to the point where he has blacked out, only to wake up in a hospital room. He recalls a day when his locker was vandalized. “Fag” was written across it in big, bold, black letters. When he asked if the custodian would clean it off, someone told him that one of the workers refused because they feared contracting HIV from a gay student’s locker. That morning, Jeremy missed his class to take the time to wipe away the malicious word. Once he made it to his English class, he noticed his assignment was ripped into little pieces on his desk. To make up for the now useless paper, Jeremy missed lunch to walk home in the rain and print another copy of his homework, then headed back to school. When he returned, he brought the new copy to his teacher. Without sympathy for his situation and believing she was teaching him a lesson for a late assignment, she ripped his homework in two.

Having faced discrimination and ignorance from students and facility, Jeremy sought help from his principal, only to be ignored again and have her door shut in his face. Fortunately, Jeremy has supportive family and friends who helped him during these dark times in high school. After some advice from a friend and with some determination, Jeremy, at the age of 17, finally decided to sue his school Sir James Dunn Collegiate (Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario). At 21, he won. It was one of the largest human-rights settlements in Canada. But not all stories have a happy ending.

Back in September 2010, five gay youth from the United States committed suicide – Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh, Asher Walker, Billy Lucas, and Justin Aaberg. They were all humiliated, ridiculed, and bullied to the point of suicide, possibly feeling it was their last resort for an escape. In response to these suicides, the It Gets Better Project and The Trevor Project materialized.  Before all this, Jer’s Vision, a local Ottawa-based organization which has been around for six years, has sought to address the difficulties LGBT teens routinely face, and is one of the very few organizations that address all types of discrimination.

Stephanie Furlan (left) & Jeremy Dias (right)

Jeremy Dias, who created Jer’s Vision from the money he won from his settlement, explains that the organization sets up workshops around the country that are not necessarily geared towards gay teens, but target straight teens who engage in bullying against LGBT students. Dias believes, “a support line doesn’t solve that, and an awareness program that gives gay kids hope that it gets better doesn’t solve that. What solves it is telling homophobic straight kids to stop picking on gay kids.” People need to realize that in order to stop the hurt and the suicides you need to stop the problem at its source.

Jeremy Dias tells me that there are many ways people can get involved. He encourages people to either contact his organization or other organizations to volunteer their time. If volunteering isn’t your forte, read a newspaper or read gay and lesbian magazines, such as Xtra, to educate yourself on the community.

To become more involved or informed about the LGBT community, there are also fun events people can attend. On April 13th, Jer’s Vision held their sixth-anniversary Day of Pink Gala at the University of Ottawa. The Day of Pink celebrates diversity and the efforts that still need to be made to stop bullying, homophobia, and all forms of discrimination. Dias adds, “It’s a huge event and people across the country come. This year Stephen Lewis is our grand award winner as well as the Netherlands. Stephen Lewis is winning because of his work on HIV in Canada and across the world. And the Netherlands is winning because of 10 years of gay marriage and their work in schools. So, it’s exciting. It’s really, really exciting to see so much happening in so many wonderful ways.” If you are too shy to volunteer or don’t have the time to read an article or two, you can always send donations to organizations like these to help volunteers make a difference for more people.

For anyone who has ever felt rejected for being different, stand up for what is right and help fight for people who face the same thing. Stay informed. Know the issues. Decide where you stand and take action. Don’t let the dialogue dissolve and don’t let the issue fade to black like an ending in a movie.