The Winding Road

By Megan Laramee

A sibling is a friend by nature. This is true in some cases, but sometimes...

It was windy. Dust and grit blew into my eyes, making them water. The stinging was painful, but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling on the inside. All my life I was told what to do, who to be, and what I wanted; I was never allowed to make my own decisions.

The city streets I walked angled upwards, putting strain on my legs. Part of me wanted to run away, downwind, far away from where I wanted to be. I didn’t feel like I deserved what I had. After all, I lied to myself so many times before; wasn’t this just one more lie?

As an only child, I never had the support of a sibling. Some would say that I was lucky, or that I was spoiled. With so many rules and expectations it’s no wonder I felt lost and alone.

It was mid-August in St-Catharines, and the city was experiencing a heat wave like it hadn’t had in years. The sun beat down on my back, and I knew that I was getting sunburnt, but that was an afterthought. With the wind making it so hard to see down the narrow streets, there was little time to think of much other than directions.

I knew that by the time I reached my destination I would be tired, sweaty and incredibly thirsty. I could feel the thick layer of dirt on my arms and legs, and I felt self-conscious meeting Alaina like this. Deep down, I knew she wouldn’t care, but I couldn’t get rid of that nagging need  to be clean.

Stepping through the hip-high grass, I grimaced as the long leaves snaked around my legs, making whispering sounds as I went. I trudged slowly, ever careful of the numerous holes that were expertly placed by whatever rodent was living in them. The year before, I hadn’t been so careful, and ended up spending the rthe summer in a cast.

Already I could smell the water of Lake Ontario. To some, the smell would be disgusting, fishy and putrid, but to me it was comforting, like sweat-soaked whites after a fencing match. I know some people give me weird looks when I say these things, but they smell like home: the place I know and love.

I stood on the beach gazing out at the open water, sailboats took advantage of the wind, seagulls flew overhead, and the outline of the CN tower stood in the distance. I wasn’t expecting the wet ball of sand that hit my face or the burst of laughter that followed. When I opened my eyes, I was sitting on my rear and gazing up into blue-grey eyes.

Alaina laughed again as she offered a hand to me. “You usually dodge. Why didn’t you dodge?” I took her hand and smiled, getting to my feet. “I didn’t think you were here yet,” I replied, making my way to the only tree on the beach. Sitting down in our usual places, I on the broken branch and Alaina on the large moss-covered stone, we began our usual chatter. We laughed and joked, but neither one of us seemed to be into the conversation. After far too many awkward pauses, I finally decided that I needed to speak.

“Laina, I’m going away. I’m going to school far away from here.” She looked at me for a long moment. “I know, Mel. Of course I knew. Did you really think you could keep anything from me?” I paused, trying to think of something witty or fun, but I drew a blank.

“Mel, I have a question for you, you have to answer me honestly though.” With a sigh, I nodded. This was the big question. I tried to make an inventory of everything of hers that I had borrowed. Would she want all her books back? Or the movies? Was there anything I was forgetting? “Was this your choice? Or was it your parents?”

At that moment I could no longer look her in the eyes. The only thought going through my head was, is this the moment that she would start hating me? Would she ever want to see me or talk to me again? “It’s not a very hard question, Mel. Please tell me.”

“It was a bit of both, Laina. I got accepted to Queens. You know how much I wanted to go there. But, they said they won’t pay for my education or even help me get a loan unless I go to the school they choose.”

She paused for a moment to think, and I was more than happy to let her. This was the moment I would lose my best friend. “You know Mel, I’m not mad at you. I could never be mad at you. I am mad at your parents though.”

Surely I was hearing things wrong. She wasn’t mad? “Laina, aren’t you worried? Or sad? Almost all friendships from high school never survive University." Alaina laughed as she walked away from me. I could only watch her in confusion as she began to rummage through rocks and shells in the sand.

“You know,” she said, as she looked over her shoulder at me, “our friendship is going to last forever. Ours was never based off drinking, drugs, boys or anything like that.” She stood up and began to walk towards me, gripping something tightly in her hand. “Our friendship was based off trust, loyalty and compromise. We are so different, but so alike. Our friendship will last because I don’t only see you as a friend, I see you as my sister as well.”

I stared at her, dumbfounded. “I didn’t realize you felt that way, Alaina.” Looking away, I wiped sand off my arms and legs. “I always wanted a sister though.”

She smiled, “So did I.” Opening her hand she showed me two unremarkable stones. “I wasn’t trying to find stones that looked the same, but stones that were both beautiful, but different. We’re like these stones, different, yet we’re tough.” She emphasized her point by pumping her arm and trying to look strong. When I laughed, she smiled.

“You know Mel; you don’t have to be blood to be sisters. Frankly, I think sister bond is far better than sister blood.”

I knew what she was trying to say, but it was fun listening to her try to explain herself. Every word she said was the truth. Looks like I got what I always wanted after all.