Brain Food for your Noggin'

Last weekend, my friend was babbling about how she was counting down to Christmas. She talked about presents, feasts, family, and eggnog.

I remember watching my younger brother chug Neilson cartons daily. My parents had to buy us each our own cartons and label them, hoping that we wouldn't steal the others anyway. This sweet holiday nectar was the highlight of every family get-together, and every party. 

Then I found out that I was lactose intolerant. 

No amount of lactose pills in the world could help me consume as much eggnog as I liked, and my stomach was a rumbling mess until the month of December was over, and the cartons disappeared off of the shelves.

I did find alternatives that used soy or almond milk. My experiences with them fueled my quest to create my own. 


The Adventures of Vegan Nog!

So Nice Noel Nog

Price: $4.59 per 946mL at Loblaws

So Nice has both soy and almond milk. 

These products lack rustic spices. The almond milk tasted far too sweet, and the soy was tolerable. It wasn't as sweet, and had a subtle flavour.

Overall: Disappointed. 



Silk Seasonal Nog

Price: $4.49 per 946mL in USA

Finding this one was an adventure. Canada doesn’t receive a lot of Silk’s product line, and I had to visit the US Food Basics for this one. It was okay on its own, and really good in coffee. Apparently pouring drinks while still half-asleep leads to a beautiful thing.

Overall: Decent



Vitasoy Holly Nog

Price: $2.49 per 946mL

No creaminess, no real flavour, and no real desire to drink this ever again. It has a lot of sugar, but isn’t sweet. Nothing could save it.

Overall: Upsetting.

The eggnog lurks within.

Val’s Vegan Nog

Yields: 1.25L

Difficulty level: Must have blender certification.

Seriously, though.


  • ½ cup maple syrup
  • 2 cups non-dairy milk (sub ¼ cup with full fat coconut milk for a smoothie texture)
  • 2 tbsp fresh lemon juice
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 small avocado, pitted and frozen
  • 1 large banana, peeled and frozen
  • ¼ tsp cloves
  • 2 tsp nutmeg
  • 1 tsp cinnamon 

Blend the first four ingredients. Add everything else, and blend it all together.

Best served cold.

The total cost came out to $2.69, $4.49 with coconut milk, by amount used.

Be careful. Someone might be plotting to steal your nog.

Innocent civilian about to experience theft of nog. 



Val is an aspiring editor and loves all things creative. She splits her time between kitchen shenanigans,  painting surrealist pieces, and being an active member of the alternative model community. She travels often with her bicycle, Charlotte.

She has been featured in Snap Oshawa, Carleton University’s Self Defense Ad campaign and Farm Boy’s Recipe section.

Connect with me: FacebookTwitterModel Mayhem.

Blogs I follow: Chocolate Covered KatieOh She GlowsCooking Comically